Maybe I'm predictable and unimaginative, favouring holidays hardly anywhere over the last 5 years or so, other than the beautiful land that is ♥Thailand♥, and why wouldn’t I?!
This time, I like to think I had no choice. Due to pedantic Australian Immigration rules, I HAD to travel overseas to be able to continue my stay in the 'land of milk and honey'. And I'm sure it wasn't my fault that the wonderful Emirates had a $404 return flight to Singapore, whilst at the same time a dear friend was also due to be in the 'hood, and that Air Asia had outstandingly cheap flights from Singapore to Phuket? No! I am not to blame at all in this instance.
‘Cos I have been to Phuket before; May ’08 with my friend Miss Melanie - and it’s not always been my favourite of Thai destinations. However this was probably owing to the previous visit involving a 4 day fast – an occasion I can only compare to childbirth (not that I’ve experienced it) but it’s one of those things that are horrendously painful at the time, and you swear you’ll never do it again, yet a few months down the track, the pain and misery is totally forgotten – and bring on the next one, until of course, the next one is actually in full swing.
Driving Melanie to Patong Beach’s MacDonalds was a particularly traumatic experience for me during my state of delirium and absolute starvation, and wanting nothing more than one of her deliciously greasy, powdery Macca’s fries. But some kind of insane will power saw me through.
Anyway, we took a boat out to the stunning Phi Phi where I was deeply distressed by the islander’s treatment of their animals; in particular the chained monkeys and eagles, and the dubious restaurateur who wouldn’t even let me buy the resident cat a bowl of tuna. I’d never seen this in Thailand before, other than the poor, beautiful elephants on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok being dragged around 'doof doof' district, hookers and drunk Westerners. How I wish I could do a Secret Millionaire for those darling elephants.
I did (try to) help a very morose looking cow on this trip however! Every morning on my 10 minute ‘hike’ to the cleansing centre for my ‘delicious’ clay drink and colonic irrigation, I passed this beautiful, but weeping animal tied to a burnt out tuk-tuk. By day 3 it was unbearable, the poor cow.. (she was probably thinking the same as I made my way to stick a pipe up my backside). So I untied her … she was not there the next morning. Then I felt real bad! Had I gone too far? However, the following day she was back! Happily chained to her tuk-tuk, and unwilling to discuss where she’d been. Oh well.
So, oh yer – here I am back for a flying 4 day visit, and no cleanse! (I’m still recovering from the last one back in July in Koh Phangan where on day 3 I found myself wailing on the end of my bed crying for my Mum, and secretly munching on a sandwich. But, as a resut, I did lose all of my eczema and blocked sinuses, AND 4 kilos – maybe helped by relentless evening 'Beat It' dancing to the MJ Live in Bucharest DVD, shamone) – yes the cleanses are HARSH but very, very good for you!
Now this time round I’m staying in a flippen marvelous bargain of a joint, Thanthip Villa, 30 metres from the beach ( I haven’t been – the pool here is too good, and outside my room). This treat of a hotel is $36/night including brekkie! As opposed to my $60/night shithole in Singapore’s Red Light District, coincidentally full of hookers and very late evening by the-hour check-ins, and a refreshment facility not too dissimilar to the ‘canteen’ at Abbotsford’s finest, STA Travel dining quarters; aka a vending machine.
No, this hotel is wonderful, I love it like Thailand itself! I have my own pond full of luscious fishies and mating frogs, and just behind my pond is the pool – and it’s all MIIIIINE! There were some Gen Y’s here on my first night, but I reckon my dirty Gen X stares saw them off, sweeeet! Does this make me a generationalist? Most definitely.
This time, I like to think I had no choice. Due to pedantic Australian Immigration rules, I HAD to travel overseas to be able to continue my stay in the 'land of milk and honey'. And I'm sure it wasn't my fault that the wonderful Emirates had a $404 return flight to Singapore, whilst at the same time a dear friend was also due to be in the 'hood, and that Air Asia had outstandingly cheap flights from Singapore to Phuket? No! I am not to blame at all in this instance.
‘Cos I have been to Phuket before; May ’08 with my friend Miss Melanie - and it’s not always been my favourite of Thai destinations. However this was probably owing to the previous visit involving a 4 day fast – an occasion I can only compare to childbirth (not that I’ve experienced it) but it’s one of those things that are horrendously painful at the time, and you swear you’ll never do it again, yet a few months down the track, the pain and misery is totally forgotten – and bring on the next one, until of course, the next one is actually in full swing.
Driving Melanie to Patong Beach’s MacDonalds was a particularly traumatic experience for me during my state of delirium and absolute starvation, and wanting nothing more than one of her deliciously greasy, powdery Macca’s fries. But some kind of insane will power saw me through.
Anyway, we took a boat out to the stunning Phi Phi where I was deeply distressed by the islander’s treatment of their animals; in particular the chained monkeys and eagles, and the dubious restaurateur who wouldn’t even let me buy the resident cat a bowl of tuna. I’d never seen this in Thailand before, other than the poor, beautiful elephants on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok being dragged around 'doof doof' district, hookers and drunk Westerners. How I wish I could do a Secret Millionaire for those darling elephants.
I did (try to) help a very morose looking cow on this trip however! Every morning on my 10 minute ‘hike’ to the cleansing centre for my ‘delicious’ clay drink and colonic irrigation, I passed this beautiful, but weeping animal tied to a burnt out tuk-tuk. By day 3 it was unbearable, the poor cow.. (she was probably thinking the same as I made my way to stick a pipe up my backside). So I untied her … she was not there the next morning. Then I felt real bad! Had I gone too far? However, the following day she was back! Happily chained to her tuk-tuk, and unwilling to discuss where she’d been. Oh well.
So, oh yer – here I am back for a flying 4 day visit, and no cleanse! (I’m still recovering from the last one back in July in Koh Phangan where on day 3 I found myself wailing on the end of my bed crying for my Mum, and secretly munching on a sandwich. But, as a resut, I did lose all of my eczema and blocked sinuses, AND 4 kilos – maybe helped by relentless evening 'Beat It' dancing to the MJ Live in Bucharest DVD, shamone) – yes the cleanses are HARSH but very, very good for you!
Now this time round I’m staying in a flippen marvelous bargain of a joint, Thanthip Villa, 30 metres from the beach ( I haven’t been – the pool here is too good, and outside my room). This treat of a hotel is $36/night including brekkie! As opposed to my $60/night shithole in Singapore’s Red Light District, coincidentally full of hookers and very late evening by the-hour check-ins, and a refreshment facility not too dissimilar to the ‘canteen’ at Abbotsford’s finest, STA Travel dining quarters; aka a vending machine.
No, this hotel is wonderful, I love it like Thailand itself! I have my own pond full of luscious fishies and mating frogs, and just behind my pond is the pool – and it’s all MIIIIINE! There were some Gen Y’s here on my first night, but I reckon my dirty Gen X stares saw them off, sweeeet! Does this make me a generationalist? Most definitely.
And how unfortunate that, as is almost always the case in Thailand, my ‘home’ is less than 30 seconds from a multitude of young Thai masseurs desperate to graciously stroke and stretch my poor, tired body into oblivion, for almost no money whatsoever. Heaven, heaven, heaven! There is NOTHING like a wonderful massage. It should be sold over the counter in bottles, everywhere. I leave my massages more happily drunk than any champagne cocktail, mojito or a whiff of poppers could ever provide. Bliss! And you always find one whose healing hands are so magical that they can play your muscles and bones like a piano. I love Thai massage; it’s like a full on yoga class with no effort whatsoever on my part. Nice!
I’ve tried (almost!) everything in this wonderful country. I’ve been massaged, massaged, massaged in a multitude of crazy positions, been ear-candled (lovely), reflexologied, waxed within an inch of my life, had my back realigned, been reikied. acupunctured, had the life flushed out of my intestines, and even had someone do it for me! This year back in KPG I was introduced to the Moon Cup, the Yogi’s alternative to the tampon, a brilliant invention - economically and environmentally savvy. I love everything about this lifestyle! Although I hear some yogis do drink their own menstrual blood, which – respect to them, it’s very good for you – but not my cup of tea. So to speak ;-)
And they say this is rainy season! Pvvvvaaaa! I love Thailand. It IS rainy season, and it HAS pissed it down, but only at night! I love you Thailand. You know I love sunshine and swimming pools; Thailand is my friend.
This rainy season has definitely faired better than the one my darling, wonderful, friends Emma,and beautiful Bel, and I experienced maybe 2 years ago in KPG, where we were staying in a splendid retreat called The Sanctuary… but with relentless rain, was not so beautiful. And so we searched high and low on Air Asia’s website for sunshine, and found it nowhere but Bangkok. So off we went, leaving our stunning tropical island behind for mega pollution, oodles of Gen Y’s, ping pong ladies, and SUNSHINE (in a hotel with a swimming pool and cheap cheap massage!) :o)
You gotta love Thailand.
Thais love their animals. (on the whole).
Pad Thai! Pineapple shakes! Cheap DVDs! Cheap Jeans! Sunshine! Ocean! Boots the Chemist! Coconut trees! White sand! Dogs and Cats a-plenty – all with huge testicles! (except for the females) (although not so true with the locals!) Heeeeat! And the people … lovely, happy, smiley,friendly, helpful, beautiful people. I have only met 2 complete stinkers EVER over here – the woman in the post office in Haad Rin (“NOT HAAAVE”) she was quite an unpleasant, angry lady! And the awful, awful man at the ferry terminal in Koh Samui with whom I almost had a wee bit of a violent altercation as he tried to steal my rucksack. I imagine some strong language may have been utilised in this incident .. not up to a pleasant wannabe Buddhist young lady’s preferred standards, but quite relevant for this 'Samong Dong'.
Thailand also has giant snails!
And as I was having my dainty toe nails painted yesterday by a very, very lovely Thai lady (for $2); she reminded me even more of the beautiful mind of Thailand. She was telling me about a festival that night (all in English she had learnt just from painting nails – pretty impressive!) – a festival to celebrate forgiveness. A festival she then insisted I attended with her (I then started to question exactly what kind of a lady she really was – but she was real alright– there was no mistaking her very genuine cleavage).
She said, “It’s all in the heart. It has to come from the heart otherwise it is meaningless. We all need to live this way. Love. All you need is love. Love is all you need”. And as she was seemingly so familiar with classic, genius and beautiful Western songs, and in particular their lyrics, I couldn’t help but add, “..yer, Heal the World!” to which she smiled and added. “yer .. make it a better place.” RE-SPECT to this girl! Whose toe nails has she been painting?
If Thailand were a tv programme it would have to be Outrageous Fortune! Or 1980s Grange Hill (circa Zammo, Jonah, Rolly, TUCKER!) or This Life, Cold Feet, Crackerjack! If it were a movie it would be E.T., Stand By Me, Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters! If it were a song it would be Imagine, Billie Jean, Seven Seconds, Here Comes the Sun (although it never actually goes away), Ride on Time! If it were a food it would be 5 Spice Pork, Scotch eggs, After Eights, dark chocolate maltesers, Frazzles, or garlic prawns...
In other words, Thailand is the land of endless smiles IMHO.
Gotta go – “Oh Yes” taxis waiting for me…
And as I was having my dainty toe nails painted yesterday by a very, very lovely Thai lady (for $2); she reminded me even more of the beautiful mind of Thailand. She was telling me about a festival that night (all in English she had learnt just from painting nails – pretty impressive!) – a festival to celebrate forgiveness. A festival she then insisted I attended with her (I then started to question exactly what kind of a lady she really was – but she was real alright– there was no mistaking her very genuine cleavage).
She said, “It’s all in the heart. It has to come from the heart otherwise it is meaningless. We all need to live this way. Love. All you need is love. Love is all you need”. And as she was seemingly so familiar with classic, genius and beautiful Western songs, and in particular their lyrics, I couldn’t help but add, “..yer, Heal the World!” to which she smiled and added. “yer .. make it a better place.” RE-SPECT to this girl! Whose toe nails has she been painting?
If Thailand were a tv programme it would have to be Outrageous Fortune! Or 1980s Grange Hill (circa Zammo, Jonah, Rolly, TUCKER!) or This Life, Cold Feet, Crackerjack! If it were a movie it would be E.T., Stand By Me, Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters! If it were a song it would be Imagine, Billie Jean, Seven Seconds, Here Comes the Sun (although it never actually goes away), Ride on Time! If it were a food it would be 5 Spice Pork, Scotch eggs, After Eights, dark chocolate maltesers, Frazzles, or garlic prawns...
In other words, Thailand is the land of endless smiles IMHO.
Gotta go – “Oh Yes” taxis waiting for me…
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